Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
