my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
