whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
