Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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