ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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