well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Dear god my vagina.
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