I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Randomize
