Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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