i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
