I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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