Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
