you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
