tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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