I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
