And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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