I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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