I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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