Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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