i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
