hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
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