That's intense
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
