Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
