Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
PANTIES FOUND
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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