I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
