is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
