Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
