2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
