my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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