new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
