A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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