so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
