just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
