My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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