I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
