Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
