I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
