I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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