Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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