You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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