wanna go halves on a baby?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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