I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
