if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I puked a lego.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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