I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My nipple is on Facebook.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize