so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i think i have herpe
just one?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
