There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize