there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
