there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
