I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i was born a porn star she said
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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