the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
