paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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