I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize