Can Purell be used as lube?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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