she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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