All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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