Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
