Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
