Can Purell be used as lube?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Randomize
