I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
