Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I didn't notice because vodka
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize