i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
