Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
