Whod you bang
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
