So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
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