Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
