We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
