What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
this boner is exhausting
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
