You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
