Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
